The Masterpiece

It has been 1 week since the surgery. I have finally graduated to soft diet! Zero puking yay! Or just that I'm not predisposed to puking because last time I also never puke.

Yesterday, when my mother heard about it, she was excitedly thinking about what she could cook me. For once, I was excited too. No confidence in hospital soft diet mah.

Breakfast was fish porridge, fed by a nurse. It's very starchy watery, rice grains not as visible as Teochew porridge, yet not as smooth as congee. It's the same kind of fish fillet, minced, sparse. So little fish can never flavor the porridge sufficiently, so some artificial flavoring must have been used. However, for a person who has not eaten anything for 1 week, it's heavenly.

I had not passed motion since the surgery, so I was given lactulose. It's overly sweet-tasting. I worry for my teeth.

Nothing happened a couple of hours later, so I was given Dulcolax suppository. I know this thing. It's potent. It did work its magic shortly.

I had to go for an X-ray. The back brace was strapped on and a nurse accompanied me in a wheelchair. It was a longgg wait. And the back brace was highly uncomfortable. Hard to balance my body. The neck brace was pushing my lower jaw up and back, clenching my teeth together and pushing my bottom front teeth back. I might have straight teeth 2 years later hah.

Had to talk to the nurse, who was chatting with me. You know me lah, I'm perfectly fine staying quiet. She's probably enjoying it, so zuobo hahaha.

And when it was my turn, it was the beginning of the challenge for everybody. My baju (what the staff called the pyjamas) wouldn't contain any metallic parts, so there was no need to change into the X-ray gown, but the same could not be said for my back brace. The instruction I got was that I must keep it on, so the radiologist called the doctor (not Dr L, some other doctor), who came down to see what was going on. O, it's those guys who removed the drain. Also, I was required to stand for some poses, which had already been proven impossible. The doctors tried and were pretty convinced. My nurse looked pretty worried. If something were to happen to me, she would kena?

The radiologist felt that it couldn't be done and suggested cancelling or changing the order. Apparently, Dr L refused to make changes and made the doctor get help. He must get what he wants. So he got on his phone and started rallying his friends. He sure has many friends who would sacrifice lunch!

The plan: Stand me up, remove the brace (??!), use some sheets to hold the critical points of my body, make it fast, put the brace back and seat me down.

Sounded very dangerous lor ~_~

The standing poses were completed glitch-free. It was due to the combined efforts of like, easily 5 doctors at least? Phew. Then came the lying poses where I had to lie on that uncushioned... board. Couldn't call it a bed. Strangely, lying on that hard surface wasn't as painful as it was in the past.

All completed shortly after 1pm. The doctors commemorated their feat by having a group photo -_-;; If it were put on Facebook, I really wonder what the caption was...

The doctors put the brace back on when I was sitting. Incorrect wearing position -> poor fit -> rising blood pressure and heart rate in Sotong. Driving me insane. I wanted to be back in bed NOW.

Back in my room (haolian now, room instead of bed wahahaha), the nurse asked if I wanted to sit out instead of going back to bed immediately. Doctor's order was to seat me as much as possible mah. :\ ok... need to start getting used to it also lah. Nothing to do lor, just sit and stone. Or maybe trying to sit was considered something to do.

It had barely been a few minutes before I felt my tummy acting up. How to go toilet and do business in the back brace ley? The nurse brought a commode chair, complete with a pail to collect the *ahem*. Nice. They had it all thought out. Drew the curtains, and it took all of 3 nurses to transfer me. Tore the pants in the process. What if this were to be my future...

The head nurse was back from leave. You could totally tell because every nurse would greet and report to her, speaking respectfully. And she spoke with an air of authority, yet still sounding approachable.

Lunch time, but I wasn't having hospital food. Waiting for my mother with better quality home-cooked porridge~ She came rather late. HUNGRY! I had barely taken a few mouthfuls before I got the urge again. This time, the commode chair was unavailable, so the nurses had to move me back to the bed. Make it fast ~_~ Then resumed lunch, not for long again. How frustrating! Didn't feel like eating anymore. Eating was like a signal to the wrong nerve. Eat and it came straight out, eat for what? Might as well wait for the drug to wear out. *sulks* I didn't remember Dulcolax being so powerful the last time round.

The head nurse was alerted to my predicament. She noted the drugs prescribed and assured me and my family that it was due to Augmentin. Her own kids also had diarrhoea when they took it.

Sure? How come nothing happened for the past few days?

She advised me to eat... never eat how to heal?

True lah, just very sian and troublesome lor. You know your staff lah, so busy, got time to entertain me meh?

Ah, there's a plus though. I'm freed from the brace for the time being *V*

Dr L (and his entourage, as usual) came to see me after lunch hours, but I was still having lunch (and enjoying the limited time I have with my phone) after all the delay lor. He was visibly and audibly more energetic today (i.e. shuttling between my room and outside and talking more loudly). You know when he burst in saying,

"Have you seen your X-ray?"

"No?"

Who shows the patient his/her X-rays? As if he/she can understand.

"I'll show you. Give me your phone. How to use the camera?"

I handed over my phone, dazed. I've just been robbed. And even showed the robber how to use my phone camera. A super brief tutorial, but I'm sure those kah kias young men and women he has with him can figure the rest out.

The gang huddled round a computer outside and returned. Dr L had taken photos of my X-ray and showed them to me.

"Ok, it looks very good. Very straight now. Look at this picture, you can compare with before the operation."

Wow the result was indeed remarkable. My parents were looking and nodding their heads too. He was unable to say how much he could do during the consultations. Guess it was something he would know only during the surgery.

What's also noticeable was the well-contrasted bright white column with screws sticking out.

And I was amused that Dr L was so proud of his masterpiece. I thought of what happened earlier in the afternoon and the lengths he went to get the X-rays done. Understandable lah, imagine the suspense of 1 whole week to reveal the result of his labor.

"Now, work hard, you must stand up."

"Ok!"

Now, that's a tall order. Would anything happen to him if I never stood again?

After Dr L and entourage left, my parents and I continued admiring the photos. What a fantastic idea! I even counted the number of screws to make sure there were really 28 of them. How did I have screws sticking out all over, yet not feel them?

Father paid the vendor for the back brace. Cash only. Darn, can't chalk up points. My most expensive garment ever. From today onwards, I can wear a crappy shirt out and nobody will even notice.

My teeth are sore now. Oww.