The HD Resident

Makan
Got oats for breakfast. I don't fancy oats; in fact, they are on my banned list due to continuous forced-feeding for 6 years every morning more than a decade ago. But the hospital didn't give me a choice. Ah well, a hungry sotong eats anything. Didn't taste too bad initially. It was the sweet type with condensed milk. Not much oats in it, quite watery. As my stomach filled up, the oats got grosser. That's enough. Half a bowl gone, quite a feat.

Mother brought me lunch and dinner everyday, except for the day that the bed was expected to be delivered. Hard to convince her to let me eat hospital food for just one meal lor. Very thankful for that. Contrast the one-dimensional hospital porridge with my mother's thick, flavorful porridge with chunky fish. Almost like solid diet hahaha. What happened to the doctor's orders? Patient starting to misbehave!

My parents were mostly late for meals. Lunch was usually about 2pm and dinner 8pm. I was fine with it, just that the nurse would keep coming in to ask if they could take the food back already. Because 2pm was the end of the hospital lunch time and other patients were already sleeping at 8pm. I wasn't going to eat the hospital food, but my father was! That's why cannot keep hahaha. HD is awesome I tell you. They have their own microwave machine, can heat up the food before eating. Also can request for Milo any time of the day.

Mother fed me, as I couldn't sit properly yet. The inconvenience was exacerbated by having to wear the back brace whenever I sat up. Opening my mouth wide was impossible. Couldn't chew vigorously. Uncomfortable sitting on the bed with plastic cutting into my legs. Felt like just giving up and go back to bed.

I could foresee spillage when I go back to eating noodles soup. How to eat with this restrictive device??

The problem with being fed was that I couldn't gauge how much I was eating. Probably more than usual. Heck, shall make up for the lost week. And I must emphasize that Mother's porridge is delicious.


On a Diet
They sent the dietician again. This time, she's here to advise me on nutrition for wound-healing. Am I paying for this service? If I am, can I tell her to leave because my mother already has her own plan and would have none of the dietician's?

Of course I just let it be. No guarantees than the service would be marked unutilized after I declined it.

After telling the dietician my dining and snacking habits, she recommended that I take 1 portion of vegetables, meat, carbo and fruits each meal. I can also afford a snack of perhaps red bean soup in the afternoon.

Ah, sounds like I'm not eating a lot what. I don't even snack!

Wait, what's "1 portion"?

1 portion is the size of my palm. That was something like the hospital's "pathetic" portion.
O. Really.

OMG I'm totally overeating! My meat intake could easily reach 3 portions. So the hospital was being kiam siap for a reason!

The good news is that I'm overeating on vegetables too. O man, just look at the number of strands in that plate! Really countable on all the digits an average human has.

Sigh... seriously got to watch my diet liao.


Maintenance
After dinner, it was maintenance time.

I was seriously worried about my teeth. By hook or by crook, I MUST sit up to brush my teeth! And I did. The electronic toothbrush is a wonderful invention. Excellent for people who do not have much arm strength, yet still want to brush teeth cleanly.

O damn, 1 round was not enough to get all that plaque off! Think will need a few days to wear them down. I was still sharing the same toothbrush with my Brother, so Mother had to bring it to and fro. Until Brother got me my own. Must be because always battery flat.

Mother wiped my face with face wash, which turned out to be a pretty bad idea, because the face wash left my face feeling sticky. Wet wipes next time!

When my family left at around 9pm, the nurses were waiting to sponge me. That was rather late by their standards; I was usually the last one. So why didn't I leave the face-cleaning to the nurses? Because they just anyhow wipe once only... sure not clean! My face is oily like kuali, somemore never blot the whole day, need to squeeeeeze the oil from the pores!

A week had gone by without lip care. Couldn't bear the feeling of the thick layer of dead skin! I used to roll them off daily lor. Without my lip balm, the skin was drying and cracking up. The nurse gave me some Vaseline, but it didn't help much. Got to ask Mother to bring my lip balm. Burt's Bees, cheap and good! Such products are invented for a reason!


Nurses
Nurses call one another "sister". So close huh. I won't be calling my colleague sister hah.

I didn't see any trainee nurses. All appeared to be at least a staff nurse. Cannot gain patients' and family's confidence if they were placed here? I noticed most, if not all, of them were staff nurses.

I asked one nurse if they ever get rotated to other wards. She replied that they are usually here, unless some other ward is seriously short-handed.

There was a friendly China nurse. Curious, I asked what she was doing in Singapore. Turned out that she was one of those lured over by that dangling scholarship :X It didn't take her long to realize that she had signed up for back-breaking work. Too late for regrets. Now to serve out her bond, gain experience before making her next move.

I wonder what "next move" a nurse has. Private hospital? Private nurse?

She commented that my bum was very round. The other nurse agreed!! What the... ~_~ I take it as a compliment.

There was the rare male nurse. When I first saw him, I had do a double take to make sure he wasn't R's long lost twin. Tall and rotund. O and I had to make sure that his name wasn't R too. Otherwise 100% confirm R is a FAT name.

Like R, he was in the IT line once upon a time, but got burned out. I do wonder how nursing is a less stressful career though. It's a job for people who have too much love to give away.

He was also from country M. He asked me if I was still living with my mother. He said that once you moved out, you will wish you were still living with her. When he went on leave a few days later, I guessed correctly that he went to see his mother. Such devotion.

It was sure nice having him around. He could do alone what it would usually take 2 female nurses to do, such as moving me higher up the bed. I'm sure that was against protocol, but they were really shorthanded that time.

So shorthanded that once there weren't even 2 female nurses to help me with the bedpan and he had to help :S

One night, a more matured-looking Filipino nurse and a younger Indian nurse came to sponge me. She seemed to be quite senior in position, judging from how the other nurses seemed to be more respectful towards her. And confirmed when the others called her mummy. She has this air of authority and made known to me by telling me firmly that I had to remember her name?!! Now that's tough. I always have problems with names. Her name might just be promoted to a more permanent storage if I repeated it in my mind more...

And I did remember for 1 night. Now? Long forgotten!

Nurses here in general are gentle and friendly. Very different from those in Ward 51, who seemed more impersonal. Are HD nurses trained to be more caring too? Or they are more eng because of the higher nurse-to-patient ratio (I think) and most patients are never in danger?


Troublesome Patient!
Needless to say, my hair must be drenched in oil by now. The great thing about HD is that the air appeared to be quite clean, so I didn't feel itchy at all.

It's time to try out the dry shampoo, but how was I going to brush off the powder when I couldn't go to the bathroom?

I decided to try my luck with asking for shampooing anyway. Surely it must be available. There must have been people who have been bedridden for longer than me, right? So I asked Mother to bring my own shampoo to stand by.

And yes, the nurses sponging me told me they could request the morning nurse to help me tomorrow. Rejoice!

The next morning, 2 cheerful nurses greeted me with ka cang that didn't look like it's for shampooing.

I asked the nurse to use my own shampoo, but they said since this was HD, I had to use their anti-bacterial shampoo. Well... ok. I hoped it's not that pink Hibisclens that Brother said was too harsh.

The shampooing setup was unexpected. A Filipina nurse was going to be the shampoo girl while the other nurse watched. She removed the headboard from my bed (wow it's actually removable), sat at the head end of my bed, laid a blue sheet at my head and started shampooing! Wa didn't know this blue sheet was so absorbent!

She's was rubbing my scalp with latex gloves, which was probably ripping hair off due to static electricity. Couldn't possibly ask her to remove the gloves... Here so hygiene-conscious. Just have to hope that I still have hair left at the end of this.

On another note, the shampooing sure felt shiok. The nurse was quite skillful - she said she used to shampoo her mother. She washed off the shampoo with like just 2 cups of water and finally rounded the session off with a hair-dryer blow-dry.

Thanks nurses!

I was still doubtful about rinsing with 2 cups of water. Clean or not one... I touched my scalp. Yeah no soapy feeling and my scalp was not so oily already. But... my hair still felt damp. Not sure if it's due to the extra gentle shampoo or that the oil has been washed from the scalp to the hair shaft...

3 days later, I requested for a shampoo again. This time, a local Chinese nurse and that friendly China nurse attended to me. They brought another bottle of that useless shampoo, which they used anyway since they have already brought it.

The local nurse did the massaging. Not as pro as the Filipina nurse. She even remarked that she could shampoo herself, but when it came to doing it for others, she couldn't. I'm sure it would be easier if she would remove the gloves... :P


Die Earth, DIE!
HD is a place where the Earth's resources are squandered in the name of proclaiming to be MRSA-free. Each time a staff enters my room, he/she has to put on disposable apron and gloves. Upon exit, alcohol hand rub. These measures just seemed to be for show only lor. It's an apron, not a gown. The gloved hands was used to touch the door, then patient, bring in "contaminated" things from outside and out...

And those wet wipes. Watson's sell so expensive, yet they use like it's free. Poor cotton. The daily sheets changes.

But I guess more resources would be wasted if patients got infection.


DisLike!!
Initially, the nurses would dim the lights in my room (yeah can adjust the brightness, so high-tech right!) for me to sleep. I'm used to sleeping in total darkness, but I thought they had to leave the light on. Also, it was easier to sleep when it was drug-induced, so I didn't mind. But it became a problem when I was taken off those strong painkillers. Which was when I found out that I could actually request to turn the lights off totally.

The ward was rather considerate to dim the lights outside and also lower the curtains to keep out the light from the street lamps. But my room had a glass door... I wished they could draw the curtains at my door, but this one confirm cannot lah. Later I die inside they don't know. 好亮啊...

It's actually quite frustrating to be lying in bed and unable to move. If everybody has a "minimum movement quota" they must fulfill daily, mine must be very low. But when it gets pent up, it gets uncomfortable. When my parents were here, I asked them to put my legs in a bending position while I ate. Then there was the exercise routine with the theraband (which I didn't like hah!).

There was a night when I felt I could no longer lie with my legs outstretched and toes pointing at the ceiling. If only the heel protectors weren't there... I'm sure I would be able to manage some movement.

Why not? Would I even need them if I could move my legs?

And I mustered all my strength and kicked those sponges off. Now, there's so many more positions I could place my legs in.

Freedom!

When G, the M5 student came in the morning, she asked me why I wasn't wearing the heel protectors. I told her, but I think she didn't register because it wasn't in the textbook or no doctor has ever told her so, so she advised me to keep them on and cuffed my heels again :(

One night during sponging, the nurse removed my calf pumps cuffs and found rashes on my calves. O, no wonder I have been having a prickly feeling. Wasn't too bothered by it since they were constantly being "scratched" by the pumps. But wearing the same piece of garment almost 24/7? It will be a miracle if I didn't get rashes!

The nurse offered to wash the cuffs for me and return me first thing in the morning since they have a washing machine in the ward. Wa HD got everything huh! Yeah yeah wash please! I'm not going to get DVT from not wearing that for 1 night, but the rashes was sure going to worsen.

So it's a night without uSqueeze.

Not only that, the areas with the ECG leads were starting to itch. So was the arm with the blood pressure cuff :( They put the blood pressure cuff on my left arm instead. Well they should have removed the blood pressure cuff altogether since I think I'm actually stable enough to leave here, right?


Get Movin'
Now that my right arm was freed, I could exercise it. Forgot how to use it liao lor. The physiotherapist asked why my right arm seemed to have more difficulty with the exercises when I'm right-handed. I replied it was because my right arm was weighed down by the blood pressure cuff. And she said that's additional weight for training -_-;; It doesn't work that way lor... can't even move, how to exercise?

I got the nurse to tie the theraband to my bed so I could exercise whenever I wanted. But of course I was either slacking or doing incorrectly... Act hardworking only haha.

The physiotherapist tried to make me stand but it turned out to be more difficult than I imagined. I mean, I have already not expect to be able to stand, but I didn't expect to not know how to transfer my weight to my right arm like I used to. And it didn't help when she started lifting me up when I had not tilted my body forward enough (I used to bend forward so much that I could hit the table if I wasn't careful). So the poor physiotherapist who was not much bigger than me, was sweating profusely after the ordeal called "100% max assist".

O the guys here have a weird method of helping patients up by pulling the waist band of the pants. Wasn't it more dangerous for the patient to rest his weight on a pair of loose-fitting pants?


Eviction Notice
Dr L told me that I was doing well and can be discharged in 2 days. Ermm?! I'm not even sitting up properly yet?

Anyway, what happened to the transfer to normal ward? The bed crunch was so serious? For what I know, I could be discharged straight from HD!

One day, the physiotherapist and occupational therapist came to see me together. They were going to make me staaand! So they took me by a side each and ended up doing all the work as usual. Yup, still 100% max assist for standing alone, when Dr L has ordered "intensive walking exercise". Wow that was seriously ambitious TTM!

The therapists told me that Dr L has intended to discharge me very soon, in like 1 or 2 days. He was for real that time? Crazy! How my family was going to take care of me like this? I didn't think we were ready for home. So with my consent, the therapists wrote that discharge was not recommended and rehabilitation was recommended. And emphasized it was both the therapists.

Why, was there a possibility that Dr L would find a reason to disregard it?

Later...

Dr L: Both the physiotherapist and occupational therapist do not recommend discharge... recommended rehab... you are ok with that?

Me: Yes.

I sure didn't look surprised. But I thought Dr L looked a bit sian.

So it was decided that I would stay for rehab. Yay. I was actually getting worried that the hospital was really going to send me home like this.

The rehab doctor came to assess me. A man who looked around the same age as Dr L. Came across as quite impersonal. He stretched my limits (nicely-put). Sternly. The doctors I have encountered so far would encourage the patient gently to go further and praise him when done, but this guy just went "up, up, some more, come on" when nothing more was going to happen. Of course cannot, that's why need to go rehab what! And I already couldn't do most of the actions since a long time lor. Could see from my parents' face that they thought he was torturing me.

Rehab would be at Ward 1. I was given a pamphlet on it upon admission, which I disregarded as I didn't think I would need to go there. Now came true liao lor. So damn far away. Sianz. Waiting for a bed there now.


Blood Sucking
My veins has shrivelled in fear no thanks to the daily blood-taking. I never knew they have a life of their own.

And I take issue with the nurses having to do it at 4.30am. The lab opens so early one?? I wished I could sleep through the ordeal, but I don't think anybody can continue sleeping when being pricked. At least twice. Peeved. Sometimes patients black face not because they were in pain, but because they COULD have been sleeping well, until such untimely interruptions.

And my blood seemed to coagulate pretty fast. There was once the nurse decided to rush mine to the lab first instead of with the ward's batch.

There was a day when 2 staff nurses failed to draw blood from me. Time for 老大 to 出马 - the nurse who made me remember her name.

And she WAS pro!


Protocol
Was it some protocol that all HD patients must take a blood test daily? But I'm already fit for transfer, can exempt me or not?

And the blood pressure cuff.

And the thimble.

And the heel protectors. (getting more and more)

My blood pressure seemed to be on the low side, hovering around 85 - 100, rarely going above 100. Means I can eat more ramen!

Maybe that's why I had to keep the blood pressure monitor on so that they know I'm alive.

Once, late at night, the monitor took my blood pressure and a gentle alarm sounded as usual. What was unusual was that the machine went on to take my blood pressure several times more. Ah... Machine siao liao? Sian... called for the nurse to stop it.

Turned out that the nurse decided to take a few more readings because the first was pretty low. Haiz tell me mah. I assured her that my blood pressure is always low one, just not sure if it has been this low before. This time it was like the high 70s?? Shocked also lor. With consistent low readings, she was satisfied and I could sleep again.

They did take me off the blood pressure monitor later, giving me respite from the weight as well as less beeping.

However, when another group of nurses became concerned about my low blood pressure reading but couldn't find the history in the machine, they put the cuff back again, to my dismay.

During therapy, the therapists monitored my heart beat when exercising and stopped when it exceeded a threshold. Easily exceeded by just attempting to stand up. Was that necessary? I'm sure I had been more overworked before. I could still go on. But guessed nobody wanted to be responsible for a heart attack.

Despite the polar climate, my finger was still sweating inside the thimble. Switching fingers alleviated the discomfort slightly, but I knew I was running out of patience with this room when the duration each finger lasted got shorter and shorter... Want to switch finger also got to do it quick. A couple of seconds without heart beat, the alarm beeped again.

IRRITATING TTM!

I found that breathing deeply will silence the alarm sooner. Dunno why?

And the best part? A bed has become available in Ward 1, but I wasn't allowed to transfer because they don't accept patients direct from HD as they are deemed unstable!! Hey, it's not my fault what?? Everybody knows. It's the hospital no bed lor! And by the way, aren't they the same hospital? Cannot communicate? Hindering my progress you know!


Bed = My Chair
Realized that my makeshift pillow was causing poor blood circulation in my head. When I lifted my head, I could immediately feel the blood flowing. The wisdom of soft stuffed pillows!

After days of lying uncomfortably on my sides, I began to wonder why lying on my back wasn't one of the positions. I also very long never sleep on my back already what??

Finally, I requested to lie on my back. Darn, it was so much better! Of course, weight spread over a larger surface area! It's now my primary position. I also got the nurses to place the bed's remote control next to my hand so I could adjust the inclination myself. Usually in one direction only - down :P Really couldn't tahan sitting in that soft bed! Didn't like it when my baju that was secured by tying the back, kept sliding off, exposing me to the man-made elements.


Entertainment
What entertainment?

I was more afraid of losing my precious phone and new baby a.k.a. the tablet, so I didn't keep them with me. Just sleep my time away lor.

But I still had time with my phone during meals. Enjoyed keeping in touch with people who cared about me :) That aside, there was nothing much to do since the 3G signal was kns and so is my phone.

Big news still managed to reach me. Such as the passing of Steve Jobs.

I don't know if this counts as entertainment, but it was amusing to see a group of aunties with big, pong hair gather outside everyday. Must be Indonesian taitais. Which begs the question - does the patient have the big hair too?


Visitors
Brother came to visit me almost daily while Sister dropped by on weekends.

For non-family, I advised them to come only after I got transferred to a normal ward due to the restriction in visitor numbers and I thought I wouldn't feel like entertaining people so soon after the surgery. But seemed like I was stuck in HD and getting bored and not so nice to keep holding concerned people off. Doors open now!

On 7 Oct, a slacky Friday, my colleagues, C, J, N, R, S came to visit me. C drove them here. So touched ley. They brought me a bag of fruits and essence of chicken and... think got something else :P S washed the strawberries for me and I still 得寸进尺 and made him remove the grass from the top wahaha.

They left at 3pm... super late! Hope nobody scold them.

M didn't come, as expected... the bo sim boss.

S, an ex-boss has been saying that she wanted to visit me. Shall see if she does. People who keep saying so, will never do.


Divine Protection
As expected, Mother wanted to put the amulet on me or the bed. "Risk of infection" is a convenient reason to ward it off. Hey it's true what! Don't know where that thing has been to! Also I didn't want to be responsible for such a precious item. Having to remember to tell the nurse to take it out when they changed me or the sheets? To remember to take it with me when I got transferred? Sounds more like a curse. I don't need the stress.