I've been wanting to post this, but I had been too busy.
31 October
My department was informed that the DH was leaving. There would be a meeting the next day regarding that.
1 September
So this is the last day of the boss who told me to believe in the company's direction. That was also the day the company had a colonic irrigation. Among those flushed out was me.
In the morning, my PM emailed me to inform me of a meeting at noon. What's curious was that I was the sole recipient. Funny... meeting always meet the whole team one mah... *shrugs*
At noon, she told my PL that they would meet later, go lunch first. Huh? Should be telling me ba?
At 12.30pm, while I was happily surfing net, I received a call from the HR asking me if I knew of "the meeting". Of course I didn't! She told me to go to this room, where the GM was waiting for me.
GM? Why would he want to meet me? I got biz with him meh? I only have meetings with my team, and now none of them were around. Cannot be good.
I entered the room. Apart from the GM, the DH, a senior and a lady stranger were there too, looking grim. Wa so many people. Since I'm not good enough for a promotion and I just got a raise, there's no other good thing that can happen.
I sat down. The lady was a HR from the parent company. We shook hands. There was a letter in front of her.
Ok. You want to invite me to your company ah? Cannot be right? What do you want?
She explained that the company had been undergoing restructuring and because of a need to further streamline, they no longer have a position for me.
Oh.
She recited the severance package, passed me a letter and asked me to read through it.
Nothing special. The package is very sad one. Surrender all company's stuff? *Idea* Hehehe. Great! Now I'm gonna be paid to leave! Yes!
I smiled and said I was done. She asked me if I had any questions.
O I would like a detailed explanation about how you arrived at this decision. Like why I was chosen over so-and-so. Ya right, as if you would give me the answer I wanted. Worst would be hearing my incompetencies after I kept being told I was doing fine. I thought I would have a lot of questions, but not at that moment. I needed time to organize them.
I just asked if I can encash unutilized leave, and yes, I can.
I've been saving my leaves for the day I leave, you see.
The HR then told me to sign 2 copies of the letter, and I did. It's a take-it-or-leave-it thing I guessed.
I wondered if it's because I had no questions. The GM explained that this was a very difficult choice to make. All of them looked through all the names in the company several times before they decided who they had to let go. The company has been very happy with my performance, so it really has nothing to do with my ability.
I'm really glad I didn't ask anything. He still didn't explain why I had to be picked. I'm expensive? Because the DH thought I just wanted a job? Or I didn't, and didn't seem to have the intention to improve myself? What?
The HR said she would arrange for me and the others to see a counsellor, and I could pass her my resume so that she could see if there were any openings within the parent company.
Huh?! No need lah! I'm HAPPY! And please, look within such a small radius? I'm better off helping myself man.
I said ok anyway. I didn't want to reject her, only to be asked why. And then there was nothing more to say. They asked me if I was ok and how I felt. I said I was ok with everything, maintaining my smile.
You expect me to cry izzit? I hope they didn't think I'm sad till only know how to smile.
That was all. I took the envelope and stuffed the letter in. I didn't really want to take it since it's useless, but it's there mah, those people would surely make me take it. The letter folded till so ugly, dunno who fold one. I stole a glance at the file in front of the GM. 3 more letters. I think Mr K would get it too.
I went out of the room, back to my desk and continued surfing as usual. But a while later, I stopped to think.
I think I know what the meeting with my PM was to be about. But because I wasn't given the letter yet, she couldn't speak to me.
Actually, I intended to stick around to get my AWS and use the time to get my SCJP meanwhile. The pay here seriously low man... Damn it, the company beat me to it! But a consolation is that I would still get my AWS, albeit pro-rated. Another consolation is that I would get a pay rise sooner than planned, IF I get a job real soon.
So now, my plans had been thrown off. I just got a rude push to take charge of my future. Is it possible to get my SCJP within 1mth so I can command a higher pay? Sure can! Cannot also have to!
I'm not surprised that this happened. My feelings for the company had been going downhill since May. The Mama project, I didn't feel like I contributed much. My PL could cover everything by doing OT everyday. My maintenance tasks, Ms R has been coping since I became her deputy. I felt dispensible. So it's logical to save this sum and let the rest work a bit harder right?
But why not the newbies? Let's see... Mr R is doing some chim thing with RMI that I'm sure I would take a zillion years to comprehend if handed over to me. Ms L is doing something that caused me to put on black face last time. And she's so much better than me at that stupid thing. There are 3 newbies at another team and I'm probably cheaper than them, but I would be considered a newbie at that project. Makes no sense. I concede.
I bumped into my PM when she came back from lunch. She had that uneasy look. I told her that they had talked to me. She asked me if I was ok (o man...) and put her handS on my shoulderS. Luckily not too hard, or I sure collapse. She told me not to worry (I'm not).
The PM got my team to go for a meeting. I knew what they were going to discuss, so I asked if I had to go. As expected, I didn't have to.
When they came back, they all had that look on their faces. The don't-want-to-look-at-me and don't-want-to-talk-to-me look. I understand. I couldn't possibly go and break the ice either. I just let it be.
Then it was time for the department meeting. I was preparing to go, but my PM told me I didn't have to attend anymore.
I was taken aback. Now that I'm leaving, I wasn't allowed to know the company's plans anymore? The DH was leaving, shouldn't I know what he had to say too? How 现实. Like I would steal their ideas.
The area around me was all empty, the department all away at the meeting. I was left all alone at my cubicle, for people from other departments to see. So outcasted. I had nothing to do, so I made full use of my time by sticking my thumbdrive into my pc.
I called Mr K to go out for a chat. If he got the same fate as me, he would answer, but he didn't. Huh...
Mr T came by. I told him I was fine and not to look at me as if I was dying.
When they returned, I wanted to ask them what happened, but I guessed it wasn't convenient as the PM was around. I'm not supposed to know hor?
Ms R msn-ed me to tell me that she was sorry it had happened and she appreciated my help. She asked me how I felt. Well, I told her that I'm ok and I would tell her how I feel nearer the date.
I can't guarantee that I would still feel happy if I didn't manage to find a job.
Nothing to do for the rest of the day. Made me wonder if I had been relieved of my duties from immediate effect. WTF, Day 1 was already unbearable with the awkward silence and if there no silence, it's "are you ok". What more 29 days?
I tried to call Mr K again, but no answer still. Looks like he's on leave. I sms-ed him.
Mr W mass-mailed his farewell. He got the axe too, but today was his last day.
People were standing around talking to the DH. I went to see if I could join in as I was bored, but 5s later, I left. Nothing interesting.
I went to say goodbye to Mr W and let him know he's not the only one.
Mr K called me. He got chopped too and asked me who else got it. But it wasn't nice to gossip openly, so I told him it's inconvenient to talk now and would call him when I got home.
Mr K was expecting it since yesterday because Mr E told him that his contract was being terminated and that more would have to go. Mr K chose to resign as he feared that it might reflect badly on him. It struck me that I could have resigned too, but then, I love money, and moreover, I had signed already. No regrets.
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