Desperation Detected

Woke up so bloody early for the interview. 6.40am lor! But for once, the interviewer was not late. She really is the HR.

HR: So this is your second interview?
Me: This is my second second interview.
HR: O, so who did you meet the previous 2 times?
Me: R and A. I haven't met the PM yet.
HR: Let me try and call him, he might be here already.
Me: (Ya, he might really be! Overnight, overnight!)
HR: It's a pity, he's on his way to a meeting.
Me: O.

*********
HR: Are aware that the working hours may be long?
Me: Yes, it has been highlighted in the previous interview.

*********
HR: If given, the opportunity, would you like to work here?
Me: Yes! (Take first, think later!)

The next thing that happened, is that she took out the contract, checkup letter etc!! *SHOCK*
HR: The offer is a 15-month package of $x per month. We are looking very urgently and with your relevant experience, this is a rather high offer. It excludes any performance bonuses that you are eligible for, which can be up to 2months. If you join now, which is before 1st April, you will be eligible for the performance review and salary review, so you might get an increment from there. You are also eligible for the choice benefits of $450 per year, which you can use to visit the dentist or go on holidays. But from experience, we find that people do not have time to visit the dentist or go on holidays, so we just give it to them anyway.
Me: !!

********
HR: When is the earliest you are able to join us?
Me: Erm 1 month later?
HR: How many days of leave do you have left to clear?
Me: Very few ley, I cleared them last year.
HR: How likely is it for you to join us earlier?
Me: I don't think it's possible, my project is rushing now.
HR: Has anybody in your company got their notice waived off before? Or do you know how it works or whether there is such a policy?
Me: Not that I know of. (So many funny questions!)
HR: Actually, we would like you to start ASAP. When you talk to your boss, can you first ask whether they can waive off 2 weeks of your notice. If they can't then ask them if we can buy you out for 2 weeks.
Me: O_O (Actually, I was thinking wouldn't it be fun if I kept quiet and just disappeared and joined you guys after my contract. I bet nobody would know.)

********
HR: Any questions?
Me: Well, I wanted to ask if it's possible to join after my contract expires, but I guess I don't have to ask already.
HR: Why?
Me: For the completion bonus.
HR: You must look at it this way. We are offering a 15 month package, you will get your AWS at the end of the year, which will be pro-rated, the performance and salary review, where variable bonuses will be paid. If you look at the long term, you will get more than the completion bonus.
Me: Right.

So I left the place with an envelope. Off to work!!

I asked to meet the Manager, who decides the headcount, like 1 month ago, but he's always too busy and I admit I didn't chase him also, because it's not like super urgent or that I have a trump card. I was actually almost resigned to accepting whatever Ass See Ass was going to offer me. What should I do, now that I have gotten an offer? Take it outright? 以quit相逼? Dump the envelope and stay anyway?

PM on leave. Manager not in. Why wasn't anybody there when I needed someone to talk to? But Monday need to reply already ley, where got time for my boss to counter? So I called my PM, but she said talk on Monday. Sigh, ok.

During lunch, I examined the contract. The 15 month thingy is not mentioned in it. Shall take it as maybe don't have.

I can't help feeling that I'm the spare tyre for some person(s) who has rejected the offer. If not, why the delay?

I agree the salary offered is quite high for my job scope. Like trying to lure me with money. Sure sounds delicious.

I lied about the number of leave days I have. The truth is that I have 7 days. Luckily I never say! Imagine using my leave to help National Cockup Schedules save money! No way lor! I'll rather get them encashed or sleep them off.